Stop. Collaborate and Listen

Stop. Collaborate and listen. 

Some of you really, really want to finish that sentence, don’t you?  If you owned a radio in 1990, you likely now have Vanilla Ice’s, “Ice Ice Baby” stuck in your head now.  Don’t worry.  I do, too.  What can I say? It immediately popped into my head as I donned a swimsuit and sat down into my very first ice bath about a week ago. I had just finished my first ever 20 mile run and my muscles were screaming for ice.   Ice is what they needed....so…ice is what they got.   "Ice, Ice baby...dun dadadundundadun", immediately came out of my mouth.  I went the ice bath route because, well……it would take too long to ice down all of the areas that were screaming at me.

The story of my life these days….so much to do.... so little time.
As many of you know, I've been on a marathon journey.  I mean that both figuratively and quite literally. And, while it's all for a cause that's been on my heart for some time, clean water systems in Africa, I recently found myself losing focus on the heart of the matter.  Instead, I was obsessing over the day to day concerns that these kind of commitments naturally involve: time management issues and well….pain management issues! Sure, occasionally I was reminded of the real purpose that got me started on this journey in the first place.  But, I was letting a lot of “stuff” crowd out my joy in the experience.  By, “stuff”, I mean the list of “have to’s” that really was out of whack.  You know what I mean…..you likely have your own list that rolls through your head in the morning, in the afternoon, and then again before bed.  Here’s a sample of my scrolling list of have-to’s:

·         I have to get the kids home, fed, and homework done so they can go to bed at a decent hour.  (After all, they have a very busy day tomorrow….and I want them to play nice with others!)

·         I have to get them in bed so I can get in bed at a decent hour (and so I feel like playing nice with others tomorrow, too.)

·         I have to get in the bed early so I can get up early and run.

·         I have to get up early and run so I have time to do the laundry during the day.

·         I have to do the laundry because if I have to dig through one more basket of clothes for socks I’m going to lose it! I should probably ice my knee but that will have to wait.

·         I have to go to the grocery store (everyone here thinks they need to eat 3+ meals a day) so I guess the laundry will have to wait. 

·         I have to clean the kitchen so I can cook dinner.  So, the laundry will still have to wait.    

·         I have to cook dinner now because my children are about to start chewing on the cabinets if I don’t feed them soon.  (I’m sure I can dig through the dirty clothes and find them at least one shirt for tomorrow that isn’t stained or smelly.)

·         I have to do some research online to see why my knee and foot are hurting (I really don’t have time to go to the doctor…I’ll ice it.  Sometime.)

Oh….and add in church activities, school, baseball, dance, phone calls, text messages, etc….you get the picture.  Most of you probably have your own picture of what we’ll lovingly refer to as “organized chaos”.  Or, for me, loosely organized.  So, long story short, I hit a dry patch.  I had cravings for weeks…or should I say thirst….to get back to a quiet time with the Lord so He could help me decipher my list that was starting to overwhelm me, and I just couldn’t “find the time”. I was at a point that I needed to be reassured that I was doing what I was suppose to be doing.  If so, I needed perspective again because I was just frazzled and quite parched.  I was elated to finish the 20 miler and still be running, not crawling.  But, I was in pain and I was exhausted. 

So, that was it.  I drew the line.  I HAVE TO HAVE MY QUIET TIME!!!!! And, you know, judge me if you must…..I am not ashamed, sometimes the bathroom is the only quiet place in the house….. for days.  So, I dumped a bunch of ice in a tub of cool water. I proceeded to plop down in it with my bible, my Beth Moore study on James, a glass of water and a bowl of cheese and crackers….because well… you “have to” replenish water, carbs, and protein fairly quickly after a run like that.  So…..Yes, after I got use to the cold and stopped singing, “ice-ice baby”,  I ate and drank and studied whilst soaking in my surprisingly pleasant ice bath (side note – a tip for those of you wondering….the only way it’s pleasant is if you soak one half at a time while keeping the other half covered.  None of us have time for freezing to death.)  Anyway…..this gives new meaning to the phrase, “He’ll meet you where you are.”  Indeed He does. 

It had been a while since I’d picked up the study and frankly, I couldn’t remember what week I was even on.  So, I found my spot and the lesson I was on that day was on pure, undefiled religion (James 1:26-27).  The entire lesson was needed.  However, the last part is what really washed over me.  Maybe that’s really why ice-ice baby came to mind.  “Stop. Collaborate and LISTEN.”

James 1:27: Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

As she always does, she had us look us other verses on the topic at hand:

Isaiah 58:6-7: Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?

Deuteronomy 14:28-29: At the end of every three years you shall bring out all the tithe of your produce in the same year and lay it up within your towns.  And the Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do.

Deuteronomy 28:17: You shall not pervert the justice due to the sojourner or to the fatherless, or take a widow’s garment in pledge, but you shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you from there; therefore I command you to do this.

He goes on to tell them not to go back over their crops a second time during harvest, but to leave it for the sojourners, the fatherless, and the widows. He doesn’t say give them half of everything.  But He consistently throughout scripture tells them (and us) to give to the poor.  Just give SOMEthing.  I was thinking, “Like, say, $50??”  (You can’t laugh AT the Lord but you most certainly can laugh WITH Him!) It was funny to me because I had been asking for that when doing my marathon fundraising for Water For Life (still am for that matter.)  Suddenly, my perspective was back in focus.  Here’s what I learned during my icebath:

It's not about whether I can find the time to clock 30 miles this week. It's not about whether I can find a pair of matching socks in the mound of laundry or whether we've eaten fast food twice for supper this week. It’s not about asking, “How am I going to get all of this done?” It’s about stopping.  Yes, stopping and collaborating with God and asking, “Is this what you want me focused on right now?” Then…Listen.   Because, whether wiping a snotty nose, shuffling kids to practice, meeting with friends, or training to run 26.2 miles….He is the One that holds it all together for me.  Of course this is what He had called me to!  And of course, He was going to be with me every step of the way.  He had been all along in so many precious ways.  Why was I questioning something that was already settled? Because I left Him out of it.   

He meets us right where we are in our hearts.  He knew what I needed…He was just waiting on me to ask for His input again.  Don’t think the tears weren’t flowing.  Partially because after running 20 miles, I was exhausted and that tends to make me weepy.  Or it could’ve been hypothermia setting in at this point.  But, I got a mental picture in my head again.  The picture that started this journey for me. It was of a mother helplessly watching her child die from dehydration due to diarrhea from contaminated water.  Growing up in a very blessed nation, that’s just baffling to me.  It’s so simple….so basic.  Our children rarely, if ever, die from diarrhea.  Yes, this was most certainly on HIS list of priorities for me right now.

So, yes.  I’ll admit it…..even though it may be TMI…..I’ve since then had to soak in the bath with a foot or knee propped up on the side with an ice pack and my bible in my hands. We do what we gotta!  That’s my marathon journey right now.  (For 10 more days anyway!)  Your marathon journey may look different right now.  But, one thing applies to all ……you can’t leave Him out of it and expect to reach your goal.  And you certainly can’t expect to be abounding in peace and joy when trying to chart your own way.    

I’ll leave you with these refreshing words from Beth Moore in the lesson that day on the subject of what God asks of us. You’ll see what I mean…..: 

“God is practical.  He doesn’t ask us to do what doesn’t matter.  What seems a drop in the bucket to you is a sip from the wellspring of life to someone about to thirst to death.  Let’s muster the courage to ask Him to show us who to help and how.  True religion is all hands on deck and all heads out of the sand.  The mystery is that, there, we often find our own healing and fulfilling.”

Now my “have-to” list is scrolling again. Until next time, y’all!

I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse me.  I have to say it...................

Word to your mother.....

A Pointer Sister Christmas?

Families.  Gotta love ‘em.  From the itty bitty to the “you have how many kids?” I grew up in a rather large family.  I’m the youngest of 5.   Or, as I was often referred to as…..”the baby”  What can I say? God saved the best for last! Cream of the crop right here y’all! (I hope you all caught the sarcasm dripping off those two exclamation points!)  I can’t say we have a perfect family but, it’s good.  We are very blessed.   It’s true that while no family is perfect, if we’re being honest, some are a little less perfect than others. Some of you are probably saying, “She’s definitely talking about my family!”  Each person who reads this could likely name a few dysfunctional moments or even a few dysfunctional people in their family. If not, you may be the dysfunctional one.  I could post it as a contest and likely get a slew of entries.  “Dysfunction Family Junk-tion:  Tell Your Worst and Win”.  Only, while trying to win justification and maybe even sympathy…..what they win is a lifetime of bitterness and loneliness, drudging up these hurts over and over.  Therefore, in the Spirit of Christmas, I’d like to take a look at an aspect of family that often goes unspoken…..maybe because we’re unaware of it.  Let’s look at the non-family, family.   

Y’all know what I’m talking about.  It’s the people you do life with, whether they are related to you or not. The ones you can talk with about real stuff, the deep down kind of stuff that makes up who we are.  If you are fortunate as I have been, you have a close family that knows you well and puts up with all of your weirdness.  For example, my sister Marsha promptly told me I shouldn’t name our daughter Carrie when I was pregnant, as it was the name of my imaginary friend as a child and that was too creepy.  Much of the time, we can predict how one of our brood might react to something because we KNOW them.  They say love grows best in little houses….well….so do the stories that get told year to year!  So, coming from a large family, it was a nice feeling to come to the realization that people outside your immediate clan can become just as treasured to you as blood relatives.  Not that they replace them by any means….just that they become like family to you, whether you are aware of it or not.   I have learned a lot about that over the past 5 years.  Frankly, I was given a crash course over the last year or so since our move from Tennessee to Southern California.  You know what I’ve learned? Family struggles, strengths, and structures are the same all around the country. 

What’s more….when we remain open, there is endless potential for “family” to come together.  Besides parents, siblings, cousins, childhood friends, etc, there’s church family, work family, baseball family, soccer family, etc., etc.  Many of you likely have a cousin that is like a brother or a sister.  (Many of you likely also have a cousin that you’d rather not claim.)  Then there’s those you love but rarely get to see.   The point I’m making here is that just because you are family….it doesn’t mean you’re close.  It doesn’t mean you know each other all that well…..or even like each other for that matter.  This is where God ordains people to come along beside us and do life with us.  Again, they don’t replace our family, they expand our family. 

Now….take my word for it, It takes a while when moving to a completely different region with a different pace and culture.  It’s taken us a while to feel “at home” here, but we do now.  See, besides being close with my parents, siblings, and cousins, I was very close with my church family in Tennessee.   Very modest church in a rural area with about 80-100 in attendance.  Fast forward to our church outside of L.A. with multiple services just to accommodate everyone and talk about feeling like a face in the crowd. Sometimes you just want to go where everybody knows your name.  And they’re always glad you came….sorry…couldn’t stop myself.  (If you are part of my blogging family, you’ve probably come to expect for me to break out either in song or movie/tv quotes!:)  ANYWAY – It took about a year but, it  recently dawned on me one Sunday when I went into church that as I walked through, I spoke with no less than 5 people who were genuinely happy to see me, and I them.  It felt familiar….what I had been missing….church family. 

Same goes for baseball family.  We had become really good friends with some families at the baseball park over the years in Tennessee.   I didn’t know a soul when the boys started playing ball here and now some of those moms are good friends of mine that I am doing life with and really….we’re raising our families together.  What can I say? God is good and I am very blessed. 

I understand some of you may be thinking, “Good for you….but I have NO ONE….no family, no friends, I’m alone!”  Well…I’ve got good news for you my friend.  In Matthew 12:46-50, Jesus’ mother and brothers show up outside where he is teaching and someone tells him his mother and brothers are asking for him.  Jesus shocks everyone when he looks at his disciples and says, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” Talk about a new spin on family!

Do you know how that applies to you? It means you NEVER have to be without family.  If you are a believer in Christ, then built into the fabric of the decision you made to follow Him is the privilege of never being alone.  Never being without a family.  Can I have a little tough love moment here?  Here’s the catch …..you must get over life’s disappointments and you must get over YOURSELF!!!! Newsflash:  The reason families aren’t perfect is because people aren’t perfect.   That extends most definitely to your church family and beyond.  You must get over what mama did or didn’t do…..you must get over the sibling who let you down……you must get over the poor, pitiful me….”life dealt me a bad hand” motto.  Because, if you don’t…..you won’t be able to truly open yourself up to the blessings God has for those who do the will of His Father.  They are too many to count, my friend and I guarantee you He does not intend for you to walk alone in this world.  Please note 2 things I believe are key to doing the will of the Father and combating isolation and loneliness:

A.       His Father does not keep record of wrong for those who have accepted and committed their lives to His Son.  Therefore, we shouldn’t carry that baggage around either.  Forgive.

B.      His Father knows about love and sacrifice and for our own good, requires us to think of others more than ourselves.  We wouldn’t have time to feel so sorry for ourselves if we didn’t spend so much time considering ourselves.  Are you feelin’ me here? Give.  Give of your time, your resources, etc.  Serve the family of God and the community He’s placed you in at this time.  It comes back 100 fold in ways you can’t imagine.

If that is you, may this Christmas bring about a change in your heart and life and may you find joy and peace in doing the will of the Father and reaping the benefits that come naturally with that. 

As for me….I will miss seeing my newfound friends and fam as we travel back to Tennessee over Christmas…BUT I can’t WAIT to be back with my chaotic, crazy, loving, original, perfectly imperfect family.  

With much love I wish each and every one of you who reads this a very Merry Christmas and a year full of His Best!!

Instead of a traditional Christmas verse….I have no choice but to leave you with this….as it is stuck in my head and will likely be there throughout all of Christmas break now!  You’re welcome. 

“We are family….I got all my sisters with me…..We are family……Get up everybody and sing.”